Transition ~ VJ’s Weekly Challenge

This week but last year 😉 VJ asked us how we approach the new year. Do we do resolutions or is it just another day.

I find her questions quite a synchronicity because I feel in transition to become more me since I left the supermarket nearly a year ago.

One change I am making is that the new year is going to start for me in November, not January. I am not a pagan but in recent years it has felt more and more like there is the true transition to a new year. However, I believe its also an important transition when the calendar changes.

This year(?)/last year I used it the review 2018 and set an intention for 2019. We went to bed early as the best husband (Jeremy Clarkson voice) in the world‘s children were not with us and he had to work on the first. He was snoring peacefully beside me while I send out blessings to many fellow bloggers, family and friends. I had a look through my 2018 goals and was rather happy with what I had achieved. And I thanked the powers that be for all the good I had received in 2018. I believe gratefulness is a superpower and so I hone it as much as I can 😉

Now I am not sure what’s the difference between a resolution and a goal. To me, it feels more concrete to have goals than resolutions. They seem to be too general. If I have a goal I can break it down into different smaller steps which makes it easier to achieve them.

I have learned in 2018 that it is easier for me to get on with stuff when I have a list of tasks and can just follow that list. I have a concrete step, I can take towards my goal so I can shut up the negative committee in my head and get active. Now don’t get me wrong I actually only achieved half of the goals I had. Well, they say man plans and god changes the plan or something of the sort.

That’s why I have never been too bothered about my goal lists. Mine never seemed to have worked out. But looking back that seems to have more to do with the fact that I never believed I am good enough to achieve anything. My self-esteem was incredibly low and if you do not believe in yourself you won’t get anywhere. At least in my experience.

Having had several months without paid work, sorting out my finances, walking the dog daily and becoming more of a homemaker has given me more self-esteem, healing and wellbeing than 20 years of therapy together. No, I fully believe in the merits of therapy of any sort but in the end, you have to figure yourself out because no one else really understands what goes on in that mind of yours or mine in this case. Therapy is like a chemical that induces a reaction but you and the changes you decide to make are the reaction.

Besides walking is powerful when you want to sort yourself out. A previous therapist of mine said that walking seems to make your synapses create new pathways and with that you’ll find new solutions to your problems. And Julia Cameron believes in that too. Her book “Walking in this World” is on my reading this year.

I have trained myself in 2018 to become concrete in what I want to achieve, then break it down into small steps that I can do every day. And it suddenly works. For 2019 I have set my yearly goals, broke them down into monthly and weekly goals and every evening I sit down and write down the steps for the next day.

Does that sound too organised? Maybe. But hey it works for me, doesn’t need to work for you. Feel free to roll with your own rock ;-). Thinking about it though I have changed in that respect too. Just a year ago I would not have felt capable of setting goals and believing I could do it. My negative belief was: “I won’t make it anyway! So why bother!” because that was my experience. And that belief stayed true until I worked with positive affirmations to change that belief.

That is one thing I have come to believe in 2018. Our perception is everything. Our perception of the world and our life is such a powerful thing if we’d all be aware of it we would never think anything negative about ourselves again. But obviously, we are trained so much in the powerlessness of dreams and perceptions that it is hard work to change that. I will work on that for the rest of my life I think.

I start rambling. So what was the question? Do we set resolutions or is the New Year just another day? It’s not just another day but resolutions don’t do it for me. Sorry VJ but that must do 😉

Find VJ’s post here and this is how you can take part:

To participate: Create a post, tag it VJWC, and link back or leave a link in the comments. Read and comment on all posts.



Distance ~ VJ’s Weekly Challenge ~ #VJWC

Ah, distance: That’s a vast field to cover and there is no pun intended ;-). I go for a poem today:

Dancing along fault lines
create a squirming distance.
So have I longed for transformation
That I cannot recognise reality.
Another dream vanished
Near this unsolvable utopia.
Chances are not even the dreamers
Escape this brave new world

There is such a distance between what people who voted for Trump and Brexit dream of and what they are going to get. Or already get. There is also a distance between what they think of themselves and what others think of them. Too much distance everywhere. But here a little comedy about Brexit to cheer us up 😉

And they say the Germans have no humour;-)

And after that, I invite you to head over to VJ’s post and read what the other participants have to say about Distance :-). V.J.’S WEEKLY CHALLENGE #19: Distance


VJ’s suggestions to Participate:

  • Create a post on your blog.
  • Tag it VJWC.
  • Link back to this page or leave a link to your post in the comments.
  • Read and comment on other posts.
  • Look forward to your responses.

Gathering ~ VJ’s Weekly Challenge ~ #VJWC

Yesterday, I wrote that I was challenged by Cee’s Fun Foto Challenge prompt and today I have the same problem. What can I write about gatherings?

I have read a couple of posts lately that have to do with family gatherings. We do not do family gatherings as such. Our families are just too far away: Mine is in Germany and Switzerland and the best husbands is further down south. It might also have to do with the fact that both of us are rather looners. Perfect for each other but a little unsocial.

No, we are not rude, well, of course, if you are rude to us… but let’s not go down that road LOL.

Pondering the topic for a while I came up with birds. I like birds. I love crows and have heard them calling me the whole day. For some strange reason, I thought that many crows together are called a “gathering” but checking with The Spruce I remembered it’s a murder. Or a congress. Or a horde. Or a muster. Or a cauldron. Blimey, that’s a congregation of names.

Reading on I got more educated. There are a ton of names for flocks of birds that I have never heard of. So I share the most curious with you:

Cormorants can be a sunning. I saw one the day before but I assume that doesn’t count 😉

Creepers (really? What bird is that?) congregate in “spirals”. Cool, huh?

Many flamingoes together create a “Flamboyance”. I think that’s rather fitting 🙂

Godwits (again rather ominous to me) are meeting in Omniscience (giggle)

Lapwings … cool I know lapwings… they gather in “deceits” LOL


Vultures can meet in a “committee”.

So what have I learned today? I have no clue about most birds (or at least those mentioned in the article) nor of their gatherings but if you want to learn more please check out The Spruce’s Collective Nouns to Describe Bird Flocks

And after that, I invite you to head over to VJ’s post and read what the other participants have to say about gatherings :-). V.J.’S WEEKLY CHALLENGE #18: Gathering


VJ’s suggestions to Participate:

  • Create a post on your blog.
  • Tag it VJWC.
  • Link back to this page or leave a link to your post in the comments.
  • Read and comment on other posts.
  • Look forward to your responses.


I have just written this morning’s #whatif prompt post. It makes me a little jittery with emotions that I obviously haven’t dealt with yet. But I realised that it fits perfectly in with VJ’s prompt.

Attention or paying attention.

One of my “tools” or coping strategies to survive the bad parts of my childhood was not to pay attention. Not to pay attention to my feelings, to actions of adults that were not appropriate and to what was going on around me.

I sort of created my own world inside my head. No, there were no people or creatures living in it, it was more of a protective bubble where only my perception or stream of consciousness existed. It might be that it is the experience of becoming or being a person with DID having alters. Who knows. I have no diagnosis so I can only guess.

Paying attention is something I am learning now. Especially paying attention to what is going on inside of me. If you live with a mental health issue you have to because you need to act before things get bad. If you don’t pay attention you can’t do relaxation exercises or take medication or ask for help so you spiral down or out of control so easily and everything just gets worse.

And I feel that I need to take action now. I am still rather anxious because of my experiences and if I do not take care of myself I am going down badly. So, I invite you head over to VJ’s post and read what the other participants have to say about attention :-). V.J.’S WEEKLY CHALLENGE #17: ATTENTION


VJ’s suggestions to Participate:

  • Create a post on your blog.
  • Tag it VJWC.
  • Link back to this page or leave a link to your post in the comments.
  • Read and comment on other posts.
  • Look forward to your responses.

Baseline ~ VJ’s Weekly Challenge ~ VJWC

So, I’ve lost sight of why I started to blog: I wanted to connect with others. I wanted to connect with people from all over the world. But then my mental health went mad. Again. Or I just hit a proper midlife crisis. Or it’s an awakening. Doesn’t matter what you call it. I lost sight of why I started to blog in the first place: To connect with others.

So I challenge myself. I challenge myself to stick with this blog. And I challenge myself to take part in challenges. And one I chose is VJ’s Weekly Challenge. It sounds fun. VJ offers a weekly prompt on Mondays and this week’s is “Baseline“.

And how can you take part? VJ says:

To Participate:

  • Create a post on your blog.
  • Tag it VJWC.
  • Link back to this page or leave a link to your post in the comments.
  • Read and comment on other posts.
  • Look forward to your responses.

I had to look the Word “baseline” up first to figure out if I had the meaning right:

Dictionary entry overview: What does baseline mean? 

• BASELINE (noun)
The noun BASELINE has 3 senses:

1. an imaginary line or standard by which things are measured or compared
2. the back line bounding each end of a tennis or handball court; when serving the server must not step over this line
3. the lines a baseball player must follow while running the bases

  Familiarity information: BASELINE used as a noun is uncommon.

Entry taken from

As it happens I knew number one but not two and three. Not a real sports person ~ me. I walk. I run … sometimes… but I certainly do not play tennis or baseball. Too complicated.

Life, in general, seems to become too complicated. The weather doesn’t do what it is supposed to do nor do politicians. Well, maybe they never did. Seems like they always have had their own baseline of what is decent compared to the rest of us.

Which is bad, I think. Because the people are figuring them out. They realise many are not on our side. Which in turn gives the populists a lot of power. They do not have our interest in their minds either. But they have the natural talent of finding words that resonate with the unsatisfied and the unhappy in our society. And those fall for populists like moths fall for the light.

There is change in the air. The baselines of our lives and the freedoms we took for granted are moving. In fact, they are collapsing and swirling and breaking out and are all over the place. Who will win I wonder…