A Hundred Memories and Songs

Hello my friends, how are you? I hope this Saturday is treating you well and if not that you find all the support you need. And maybe a little happiness in unexpected places.

If you read my post yesterday, you know that the black dog has come knocking at my door. Please, don’t worry I am absolutely fine and will let you know more about how I deal with these situations on Monday’s “Come Away with Me” Post.

Still I was rather surprised that I feel motivated to write something for Linda’s wonderful Stream of Consciousness Saturday prompt:

2019-2020 SoCS Badge by Shelley!

Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “more than a hundred.” Write your post inspired by something you have more than a hundred of in your home right now. Enjoy!

That’s what she challenged us with. And a challenge it is because I doubt we have hundreds of anything in our house. Since 1987 I have moved on average every 2 or 3 years and you cut down on stuff very fast if you do that. Saying that: I still had lots of boxes with stuff at a friends house in Germany which she sorted out recently and she sent me several with books and other things she thought I still might want. I had said to her that she could have whatever she wanted but I do not know if there was anything they could use. I so very much hope there was.

The best husband (Jeremy Clarkson voice) in the world has moved a lot in his life too. I think he might have hundreds of tools in his man cave outside in the yard but I hardly ever venture into that so I can’t tell. Besides he tells me that he had a lot more but when he and the mother of his children split he had to give up a lot. But that’s another story and not mine to tell.

One thing I have hundreds of though currently is minutes in the day to fill. And that mix of boxes full of stuff, researching videos for “Come Away with Me” and lots of time at hand seem to have started a landslide of memories. There have been hard times in my childhood but overall I was incredibly lucky.

Lucky to grow up in a village where you had friends to catch you when times were rough, family close by whom you always could rely on and a freedom to roam the village and areas around that today’s children probably won’t ever experience.

video credit: StuttgartXL via YouTube that’s a meteorite grater by the way

And also growing up in a family who loved reading and music. Last night the neighbour had one of his very loud evenings. I woke up and had to put on the tv to drown the garble of his tv. Friday night is music night on BBC4 and I love to watch these documentaries. Last night was all about Peter Green and Fleetwood Mac.

Now I am not old enough to remember the Peter Green days of Fleetwood Mac. May he rest in peace. I didn’t realise that they started as a blues band. I was a teen in the ’80s and remember their “Come Back” with “Tango in the Night” and “Little Lies”. On German radio they then played many songs from their previous albums too.

video credit: Fleetwood Mac via YouTube

Music, however, was all around me all of my life. My parents liked an ecclectic mix of music. I grew up listening to records of Bach, Santana, German singer song writers, Haydn, the Beatles, Joan Baez & Cliff Richard. My mum always had the radio and listened to a channel the Germans called a “Housewives channel”. It was SRW3 which was probably similar to BBC Radio2. That’s where I was introduced to ABBA, musicals like Evita, Juliane Werding and the Carpenters.

video credit: Juliane Werding via YouTube, video source: Schlagermusikgirl40 lyrics translation at Lyricstranslate

Weekends were for family. On Saturdays and Sundays, we had a “big” breakfast altogether. Often my grandparents were there too. My father often got the Samovar out which his Turkish co-workers had brought him from Turkey. That contraption is more connected with Russia but middle-eastern countries use it too.

Video credit: Words of the World via YouTube

Yes, I know we Germans are supposed to be coffee drinkers but in our house only my grandfather had coffee all the time. Breakfast was teatime for us. And it was awesome to have this contraption on the table and experience a little exotic tea ceremony. We had boiled eggs, white bread (we usually ate rye bread), all sorts of jams, sausage and fruit and veg on the table. And we had music on. That was when we mainly listened to some sort of classical music or Santana. What a mix!

I am not sure how much my parents were a fan of the “Grand Prix De Eurovision”.

video credit: Mr Eurovision via YouTube

You don’t remember what that is? Well, today it is known as “The Eurovision Song contest” but I do not like that at all. I loved it when it was that French-sounding music contest and musicians had to sing in their native tongue. Now that was exciting. I suspect it more a thing of my mother than my father’s but from the age of 7, that and New Years Eve was the only time when I was allowed to stay up really late. Of course, I remember Nicole und “Ein bisschen Frieden”. Who in the 80’s doesn’t? Love it or hate it but it firmly belongs to those memories.

video source: DiscoBar80 via YouTube lyrics translation at Lyricstranslate

Now wasn’t she lovely to do it in so many languages? It’s not on that video, unfortunately. And how we need that song today!

Later on, I met a friend every Monday evening to watch a music program that was called “Formel Eins” which means Formula 1. Why it’s “symbol” was a pink Isetta I have no idea. Probably because it was a Bavarian program LOL.

video source: sigizmund sigizmundovitch via YouTube

It was basically a charts program similar to Top of the Pops. We loved it. We had tea. We translated the English lyrics and learned English in the process. Those were the days my friend.

Yes, I would love to share some more memories with you and another 97 or so videos but alas it’s dinner time in our house soon and I want to do some cooking as long as I can. My abilities aren’t always that good so I can help the husband. He’s back at work, you know. I hope you forgive me. Both that trip down memory lane and neglecting your musical education so badly.

Happy Saturday to you all despite everything.

This post takes part in Linda’s wonderful “Stream of Consciousness Saturday”. Please find incredibly insightful, funny and creative posts on the comments at this prompt post.

Please stay a little longer and find my photography on Bee Wordless on Blogger.

You can also find my photos on Dreamstime (affiliate link, you do not need to buy anything but if you do I get 10% from your purchase).

Just one more thing before you go: The hospital that is treating me is fundraising for a dedicated breast cancer unit which would allow same-day diagnosis and better premises for patients and staff.

Please, if you can spare a little money hop over to their Just Giving Page and give as little or much as you can. Or share the page on your social media. Your support means a lot to me! Thank you very much.

Thanks my dears, for staying with me until the end. I appreciate your presence. Please stay safe, stay kind and remember that you rock!

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Gosh… 30 Years ~ #SoCS

Hello everybody out there how are you doing? I hope you enjoy your day and if not then I sent you a heartfelt hug!!!

I can’t believe it is 30 years since the Berlin Wall came down.

I remember 1989 very well. We in West Germany were watching people from East Germany leave their country since August. I think it was January when we first heard of the Monday Demonstrations which eventually led to the end of the German Democratic Republic which was the communist part of Germany until 1991 I think.

We were scared and excited. Scared because the Cold War so easily could have become a hot one but luckily it just ended. I was 19 when that happened. One of the most significant experiences in my life. That is why I do not like building walls.

The Berlin Wall separated families and friends. My grandma was a refugee from the East a couple of years after WWII ended. She left her friends and family behind and even after it was possible to visit the East it was a big thing to go and visit them.

Grafiti on Berlin Wall, photo by Schaefersystem via Pixabay

You came out of Western Germany and had to drive through a stretch of no-mans land. Then your passport was taken away for checking and your car was thoroughly searched by soldiers often with weapons on them. You got your passport back with a stamp that you are allowed to go on. Oh, and you had to apply for a visa months in advance. It was one of the most scary experiences I had in my life. I have no understanding for people who believe in walls and borders. To me they are the root of all evil. Just because someone is born somewhere else doesn’t make him or her less worth supporting. When it comes down to it we all  just want a better life. And the longer I live the more it seems to me borders and walls only help the rich to make more money. Communism might be dead but the class fight is alive and kicking in my opinion. But what do I know?????

I think it is more important than ever to remember November 9th, 1989. To remember the hope and positivity we felt then to not lose hope in these dark times of politicians who want to separate us from each other.

Thirty years ago

Walls and opponents crumbled

Is darkness coming?

Have a great weekend!!!!


I hadn’t planned to connect this post with Linda’s “Stream of Consciousness Saturday” but hey one word fits the prompt and there are so many brilliant posts taking part that I just have to send you over to her post: The Friday Reminder and Prompt for #SoCS Nov. 9/19

XP, XR and other Ex’s on Bee’s #SoCS

Hi Linda, please do not apologise for posting the prompt late. Your life is dotted with obstacles which would have stopped me from blogging a long time ago. What do I want to say? Thanks for SoCS. You rock lady and those brownies are on the way if you need them 🙂 Hugs

So, what has Linda, the mistress of curious, funny, interesting and thoughtful Stream of Consciousness prompts, challenged us with this weekend?

Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “xp.” Use it as a word, or find a word with “xp”in it. As always, use any way you’d like. Enjoy!

You can find the prompt post here “The Friday Reminder and Prompt for #SoCS April 27/19“. Please head over and say hello to this wonderful crazy community and find more enticing posts to read.

SoCS badge by Pamela, at https://achronicalofhope.com/

SoCS badge by Pamela, at https://achronicalofhope.com/

The first thing that came to my mind was “Windows XP“. Can anyone remember it? Oh, wow how far have we come since? I don’t think it was their finest hour and made many check out the emerging Linux operating systems. Or maybe they weren’t emerging? Maybe many didn’t check them out? Well, I did. Dabbled a little with Ubuntu and Fedora which I both liked but in those days they did not necessarily give me the chance to play games I loved. So I had both Windows and Linux on my computer and that wasn’t good for its working space. My goodness, no one could bear the slowness of computers in those days today. We are in such a hurry nowadays… Don’t expect I have any idea what I am talking about by the way. I just like to try out things that are not mainstream.

Does mainstream easily lead to XR?

Probably not but I go there anyway 😉

Oh, you haven’t heard of XR yet?

XR stands for “Extinction Rebellion” a movement of conscientious humans who do not want to put up with the inactivity of the world’s governments anymore when it comes to climate change. According to scientists, it’s happening and the change towards “NO RETURN” and “EXTINCTION” is in roundabout 10 to 12 years.

Take it in:

If we keep living how we do now our climate will change so much in 10 or 12 years time that our civilisation is going to break down. That is about the same time between Windows XP and Windows 10. Our children won’t be able to have enough to eat, travel and have all the luxuries that we take so easily for granted.

You think that is scaremongering?


But do you really want to risk it?

The way I see it is:

If it is scaremongering and I change my lifestyle I make a fool of myself but I do not lose much else. I can live with that.


If it is NOT scaremongering and I do NOT change my lifestyle I lose everything.

For me, that is a no brainer!

video credit: TEDx Talks via YouTube

Now, I by no means change my lifestyle as much as I should be changing it and I can hear daughter of another mother’s reasoning: “The big corporations know about it since years and don’t do anything!” She still feels we need to do something but there is a sense of defeatedness in this statement, isn’t it?

That is where “Extinction Rebellion” see its importance: Making the bigwigs in politics and economy change their actions. Well, making them act really!

They have 10 working principles:


1. We have a shared vision of change

2. We set our mission on what is necessary

3. We need a re-generative culture

4. We hopefully challenge ourselves, and this toxic system

5. We value reflection and learning

6. We welcome everyone, and every part of everyone into Extinction Rebellion

7. We actively mitigate for power

8. We avoid blaming and shaming

9. We are a non-violent movement

10. We are based on autonomy and de-centralization

I have watched several of their “faces” or “leaders” on TV since Easter Week when they started their worldwide action for climate and I have to say that I am very impressed with them. Politicians, Journalists and business leaders try to get them into a defensive stance with saying, for example, they would make everyday peoples life difficult and “alienate” many who are on their side with their actions (Extinction Rebellion in London). But none of the rebels take those peoples bait. I am in awe me being such a human who boils over rather easily when challenged.

video source: Extinction Rebellion via YouTube

What I like about the movement is the fact it’s not only about climate change it is about changing our civilisation towards fairness for all and not just a few and giving all of us the chance but also the responsibility to act for our society. That I think is the main problem why we do not have a fair system where all get what they need: We do not feel responsible to do something and make time to help decide where we want to go with our lives. It’s the politician’s job or the councillors or …. “I can’t do anything” is what most people think. That is what we are taught.

But history shows us continuously that that is not the case: It is 30 years ago that the wall came down, where everyday people changed a system which worked with suppression and violence against its citizens. It is 8 years ago that everyday people brought governments down in the middle east and let’s not forget the civil rights movement, Indian Independence Movement and the fight for democracy in the 19th century.

It is not the bigwigs who change history. It is everyday man or woman who does and it is about time we take that responsibility seriously.

The best husband (Jeremy Clarkson voice) in the world and I have joined “Extinction Rebellion” and I have signed up to help more but need to contact them further for what to do. Besides that, we are finding our way closer to a zero waste lifestyle and I will use this blog to inform you about the movement and what is at stake. And I try to rouse you to do something and give up the idea that you are powerless.

What you chose is up to you.

I respect your choices because it is not up to me to do otherwise. One principle of Extinction Rebellion is to challenge themselves to change a toxic system and their respectful and loving way towards those who think differently is an inspiration for me. I aspire to be the same and that is certainly a challenge for me. Just look at my posts about Brexit 🙂

So, if you are interested here are the links where you can find out more:

World Map of XR Chapters: https://tinyurl.com/XRchapters
DONATE? https://fundrazr.com/Global_XR
Join Us: https://Rebellion.Earth/contact/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/ExtinctionR #ExtinctionRebellion
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ExtinctionRe…
Website: https://Rebellion.Earth
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ExtinctionR…
Climate Factsheet for Rebels: https://Rebellion.Earth/the-climate-f…
Rebellion Overview Document: https://goo.gl/91cFn4
International Signup: https://XRebellion.org/
Southampton: https://www.facebook.com/XRSouthampton/
Bristol: https://twitter.com/XRBristol
Sheffield: https://www.facebook.com/Extinction-R…
Lancashire: https://www.facebook.com/XRlancs
Frome: https://www.facebook.com/ExtinctionRe…
Glasgow: https://www.facebook.com/XRGlasgow
Ireland: https://www.facebook.com/ExtinctionRe…
Scotland: https://www.facebook.com/XRScotland
Sweden: https://twitter.com/XR_Sweden
France: https://www.facebook.com/xrParis/
Germany: https://twitter.com/ExtinctionR_DE
Netherlands: https://twitter.com/NLRebellion
Denmark: https://twitter.com/ExtinctionRDK
Denmakr: https://www.facebook.com/groups/20207…
India: https://xr-india.weebly.com/
Australia: https://AusRebellion.Earth/
North Qld: https://www.facebook.com/ExtinctionRe…
SE Qld: https://www.facebook.com/ExtinctionRe…
NorthernRivers: https://www.facebook.com/XRbundjalung
NSW: http://www.facebook.com/xrNSW
VIC: https://www.facebook.com/groups/xrVIC…
SA: https://www.facebook.com/xrAdelaide
WA: https://www.facebook.com/AusRebellionWA
New Zealand: https://www.facebook.com/ExtinctionRe…
Nelson NZ: https://www.facebook.com/groups/XRnelson
USA: https://www.facebook.com/ExtinctionRe…
SF Bay Area: https://www.facebook.com/ExtinctionRe…
Sacramento: https://www.facebook.com/Extinction-R…
Los Angeles: https://www.facebook.com/ExtinctionRe…
New York: https://www.facebook.com/Extinction-R…
Wash DC: https://www.facebook.com/ExtinctionRe…
Boston: https://www.facebook.com/ExtRebMA/
Chicago: https://www.facebook.com/XRchicago/
Tampa: https://www.facebook.com/xrtampabay/
Central Kentucky: https://www.facebook.com/XRebelKY/
Savannah: https://www.facebook.com/ExtinctionRe…
Austin: https://www.facebook.com/XRAustin/
Yellow Springs: https://www.facebook.com/groups/34179…
Grand Rapids: https://www.facebook.com/ExtinctionRe…
Minneapolis: https://www.facebook.com/groups/50371…
Colorado: https://www.facebook.com/groups/28394…
Denver: https://www.facebook.com/ExtinctionRe…
Wyoming: https://www.facebook.com/ExtinctionRe…
Montana: https://www.facebook.com/extinctionre…
NewMexico: https://www.facebook.com/groups/58244…
Seattle: https://www.facebook.com/XRSeattle/?r…
Eugene: https://www.facebook.com/XREugene/
Bellingham: https://www.facebook.com/XRBellingham/
Hawaii: https://www.facebook.com/groups/extin…
Canada: https://www.facebook.com/ExtinctionRe…
Alberta, Canada: https://www.facebook.com/groups/35689…
Cowichan Bay, BC, Canada: https://www.facebook.com/groups/74587…
British Columbia, Canada: https://www.facebook.com/ExtinctionRe…
Nova Scotia, Canada https://www.facebook.com/ExtinctionRe…
Howe Sound, British Columbia, Canada: https://www.facebook.com/Extinction-R…
Vancouver, BC, Canada: https://www.facebook.com/xrvanbc/
Ontario, Canada: https://www.facebook.com/extinctionre…
World Map of XR Chapters: https://tinyurl.com/XRchapters

I have no idea how I could lead to the other “Ex’s” because the other “X’s” is just a song I really like right now 🙂

Video Credit: P. Faith via YouTube

Have a lovely Saturday or whenever you might read this post. It is cold and raining where I am at the moment but you can’t imagine how happy I am about it. Not the cold but the rain. We had no prolonged period of rain for 12 months as the local news said recently and the soil in Norfolk, UK is rather dry. I could, of course, bang on about climate change again 😉 but I won’t. I just let you know that our water butts in the garden are filling up nicely and our parsnips, onions and salad will survive another day 🙂

You hang in there peeps in whatever challenges you are in right now and be sure you are in my thoughts and in prayers. You rock, are the world and I believe you are the difference you want to see in this world!

Happy blogging, reading and whatever else you are up to!

Selfie of Bee and Sherky

A belated #SoCS and on time #SLS are fab and on fire

Ah, peeps here I am and I am in a strange mood. It’s this sort of hanging in the air feeling where I am not in a bad mood but not in a good one either. It’s more “Am I bothered????”

Video Credit: BBC via YouTube

So the computer originally said no but I watched the Hungergames two days in a row (yes no 1 AND 2 to the dismay of the best husband (Jeremy Clarkson voice) in the world and Jim’s prompt for today’s “Song Lyric Sunday” is “Burn/Fire/Flame” and the Hungergames fans of you know where this is leading 🙂

Video Credit: Alicia Keys via YouTube

I think both Alica Keys and Jennifer Lawrence are absolutely fab and believe you me “fab” is not a word in my vocabulary. I don’t think I ever used it. Even though I did feel rather fab when getting married to the above-mentioned hubby:


Bee in light green wedding gown looking like a Greek goddess


and I just realised that we got married in the year the first Hungergames and probably the above song came out: 2012! Yes, it was one of the years that the world was supposed to end ( can you remember? ) which would not be fab, would it?

SoCS badge by Pamela, at https://achronicalofhope.com/

SoCS badge by Pamela, at https://achronicalofhope.com/

But where are we?


“Girl On Fire”

She’s just a girl and she’s on fire
Hotter than a fantasy, lonely like a highway
She’s living in a world and it’s on fire
Filled with catastrophe, but she knows she can fly away

Ohhhh oh oh oh oh
She got both feet on the ground
And she’s burning it down
Ohhhh oh oh oh oh
She got her head in the clouds
And she’s not backing down

This girl is on fire…
This girl is on fire…
She’s walking on fire…
This girl is on fire…

Looks like a girl, but she’s a flame
So bright, she can burn your eyes
Better look the other way
You can try but you’ll never forget her name
She’s on top of the world
Hottest of the hottest girls say

Ohhhh oh oh oh
We got our feet on the ground
And we’re burning it down
Ohhhh oh oh oh oh
Got our head in the clouds
And we’re not coming down

This girl is on fire…
This girl is on fire…
She’s walking on fire…
This girl is on fire…

Everybody stares, as she goes by
‘Cause they can see the flame that’s in her eyes
Watch her as she’s lighting up the night
Nobody knows that she’s a lonely girl
And it’s a lonely world
But she gon’ let it burn, baby, burn, baby

This girl is on fire…

Description for visually impaired readers: green grass in the forefront with a blue flower to the right. A hedge and trees in the back with sunlight shining through. Purple writing saying “Song Lyric Sunday” diagonally from left to right.

This girl is on fire…
She’s walking on fire…
This girl is on fire…

Oh, oh, oh, oh ohhhhh oh oh oh ohhh oh oh oh ohhhh…

She’s just a girl and she’s on fire

Songwriters: Alicia Keys, Jeff Bhasker and Salaam Remi.

But don’t you feel that since 2012 the world at least as we knew it has ended? I definitely do and I also often feel like I walk on fire at times…

Never mind.

So back to the fab Alicia Keys and Jennifer Lawrence. I like Alicia’s music. To me, she is not only a fab musician but also a fab human who does her bit to change the lives of orphans and people in general. It is good share the good you got.

And I would love to be as outspoken as Jennifer when it comes to the problem’s women still face in this day and age when it comes to pay, opportunity and rights. Yes, I know a lot is changing since Mr Weinstein got caught at last but still lots to do ladies. We’ll get there, no doubt about that but it might need a little more time.

Ah, maybe one last word for the not Hungergames fans: The main character in the book played by Lawrence in the film is portrayed as “The girl on Fire” when she enters the Hungergames. Another character creates a dress for her which looks like it is on fire.

Video Source: The Hunger Gamz on YouTube

That’s for today. Hope you have a fab and not on fire Sunday!!!!!







#SoCS needs dough

*attention. Rude language that might offend some readers

I thought it was Groundhog Day:

I checked Linda’s blog and clicked on the SoCS post but didn’t register the date. The prompt asked about the last mail we received… d’oh oh no duh?!

Looks like the reader on the WP was a slight bit behind. So, what’s today’s prompt?

Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “dough/d’oh.” Use one, use both, use ’em any way you like. Enjoy!

SoCS badge by Pamela, at https://achronicalofhope.com/

SoCS badge by Pamela, at https://achronicalofhope.com/

So here’s the story:

I need some dough. No, not the sweet sticky stuff that adds the pounds on our hips. It would be nice to have some again but that’s a different story. This story is about Mary Berry.

You know the British Baking Queen? Of course, she had much more to teach the great British public after they left that exclusive club called EU. Good old recipes like bulking up white bread with sawdust or how to use reconstituted dried eggs in baking. She didn’t get the reputation of a national treasure for nothing.

The plan the EU Underground had hatched was sound: go in, show the images of Johnson, Farage and friends feasting on proper wine and cakes in Italy, Germany or wherever they made their escape to and get out.

No-one expected the Berry ninja moves. My goodness, that old dear could kick butt. Mine still stings. I came into the studio ready to shove the posters in front of the camera but Mary must have been tipped off. She charged at me like a chef on steroids and off I went into the wall. BERCOW!

Illustration of a yellow bang over which it says BERCOW!

Sorry, unfortunately, I have no reference where this comes from. I’ll put credits as soon as I find out.

When I came to she leaned over me grinning madly:” You little sh…. settled status slut you!” she hissed. “You lot destroyed our great British baking tradition with your baguettes and bretzels and panettone. Noone…No-one can remember Horsebread or Iussell. It was time someone did something about that!”

I must have stared at her like a rabbit in front of the snake in the middle of my shredded posters because her eyes suddenly changed into purple glowing Erbolates and I didn’t move. Neither did any of the camera crew. They hid behind their equipment or ran.

“EU no 13 what’s up?” I heard in my earplug. That woke me. I pressed the Tusk security button and my head shot forward into her grinning face. I think I must have put the setting a little high. When I got up and checked, her head lolled backwards. She did not breathe. That’s when I saw the brave one. One ginger camera woman had her camera right in front of us and said triumphantly: ”That was life on tv! You won’t get away with this!”

How right she was. That was my death sentence from the EU Underground. Our first rule:” Utmost secrecy!” So I ran. And now I need some dough…


Sorry Mrs Berry, that you have become a victim of my anti-Brexit stream of consciousness. I have no idea where you stand on Brexit but I hope you’ll forgive me :-). I also assume you would not use foul language like I gave you. Again so sorry :-).


Please head over to Linda’s Prompt Post and check out the comments for more hilarious, serious and plain bonkers SoCS posts. You won’t regret it!!!!


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#SoCS is soulful or has a sole

Ah, the great lady of Stream of Consciousness has challenged us again:

Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “soul/sole.” Use one, use both, use ’em any way you like. Enjoy!

Without further ado here is my contribution:

video credit: Amy Winehouse via YouTube

I swear I can hear Amy Winehouse singing over there in that little cove. Really? Soul Music? Was walking along the beach. My friend the jungle to my left and sister sea to my right. She looked so beautifully calm today. No grey or spray or wind gusts that blew me over like the first day I stepped out of the sea like Botticelli’s Venus. Hadn’t seen anyone since.  Made my way up the little path between a couple of palms that opened the view down towards the blue of the cove and… By my soul, I swear I expected Amy standing there in the middle with a microphone. Didn’t even question the fact that she was dead. Dead since when? Can’t remember. Just yesterday I heard a name called and turned around but there was no one. Just the gulls sailing along the sky and the waves washing up the beach. My friends would laugh at me if they’d see me with the bamboo stick in my hands. Had attached a string at the end that had washed up a couple of weeks ago. Never knew that shells can make such a good hook. Captain Hook? No that was something else but what? If only I could remember stuff. What was at the end of the sea? Does this place just fall over the edge or sail up into the sky? I remember sky and beach and sea, you know. But hey you aren’t there whoever you are. Am only talking to tortoises and gulls. Throaty noises I make. Smile. Yes, there was this sole yesterday. Never thought that old man showing me how to filet a flat fish could come in so handy. Who was he? That old man? Father? Maybe but what is a father? It was nice eating that sole. Didn’t taste like shoe sole at all. Giggle. Father? Can’t remember. But friends yes. Had many. We set off on a trip to somewhere and then nothing. No future no end. And the morning sun taunting me. Another day? Yes, getting up every day. Wash myself. Eat what I found the day before. It never gets cold. Good that. Walking out of the cave I made my home. It’s a little higher up than the beach. Beach gets flooded in stormy season. How long am I here? There is a stormy season and a calm season. Even stormy season isn’t cold just so damn damp. Slipping down the path to the beach in stormy season. But now it’s calm. Amy Winehouse still sings. Hear her. Tears dry on their own. What are tears? There is another voice. And..there…is…some… wood (?) swimming in the cove. Didn’t see it before. Now it comes into view around the bush.’..it’s…a boat. I remember. A boat. And there is someone. A woman. I remember “woman”. She waves at me. Shall I go? No, better not. I run. The other way. Back home. Panting. Falling in the sand. I hear Amy again… NO. Curling up in a ball. Rocking. Amy. Again and again Amy’s voice. A splash. Someone moving through water. Rocking. Just rocking. Forgetting. Rocking. A hand on my back: “Oh my god Ami, you poor soul, found you at last!”


This post takes part in Linda’s Stream of Consciousness Saturday. Please head over and find many more soulful posts in the comments. Please visit them all 🙂 you are worth it!!!!

Thanks Linda!


SoCS bashes…

Linda has taunted us with a new prompt which is: Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “abash/a bash/bash.” Use “abash,” or “bash” as a noun or a verb. Bonus points if you manage all three. Have fun!

(Please head over and find other bashful Stream of Consciousness posts in the comments!)

It does sound like fun and here is my contribution:

I’m on the prowl again.
Hanged up my business suit at home and let the full moon do its thing. It has been so long since I let my nature manifest in full. The energy surges through my body when the fur appears. There is a call from afar.  The enraging odour of a bash of innocents infiltrates my senses when I lose consciousness and only hear my howl.

Minutes later this creature is on the road down a winding path into the woods. It has chosen her home well. A lonely hilltop hut which has an ancient flair about it. The wood was worked when settlers first arrived and hasn’t seen a coating of colour in years. Deep red flakes off the square walls but the roof is always taken care off well.

Years ago she has made an unlikely alliance with the little ones living in her woods. She saved one of them and as soon as she leaves for her business they come surging in to bring spells and wood and nails into the right position.

But I am losing track of her. She is already down the slope full of ancient pines. Some of the quickentree bushes are broken by her agile body but the ivy knows to get out of her way when she is in full prowl mode. There is a little brook that meanders along the valley at the bottom of her territory. She stops for a moment. She moves her elegant body backwards so her front paws stretch out. A sigh escapes from somewhere. She stands up and listens, her nostrils open to detect anything coming her way: Danger, lust or pure revenge. It does not matter now.

They know to stay out of her way when the moonlight enhances her prowess like this. It happened that she bashed the head of one of her mates against the rocks when she was too passionate in mating. But her mating days are gone. It’s just no one knows this yet. And today was another matter at hand.

She prowls again. Someone dared to violate one of her sisters. Awareness of domestic violence for decades but for some nothing changes. And she does not care which form her sisters have: Girl, woman, crone, human, shapeshifter or animal when one of hers is violated she hears the call she can not ignore. Someone dared to abash one of her sisters. She feels the little one cower in a dark corner. Shame and fear all over her. But not for long. “Not for long, sister” she whispers and starts running…

I wake up in the corner of the bathroom. I always do. Trained myself years ago so I just had to start the water and regain full consciousness and let he gore run down the drain. But I have already forgotten this matter. I leave the bathroom and put on the business suit and head for a cup of coffee.


#JusJoJan & #SoCS add an ad in 2019 AD


This time I surpassed myself. Do you think I get extra-extra points for getting all three words in the title too?????

Ok, let’s take a step back and have a look at Linda’s prompt:

Your prompt for #JusJoJan and Stream of Consciousness Saturday is: “ad/add/AD (Anno Domini).” Use one, use ’em all–bonus points if you fit them all into your post. Have fun!

That sounds fair to me 😉 and just in case you want to join us, read other brilliant posts or find out about the rules please have a look here.

So on January 26th, 2019 AD I make #JusJoJan and #SoCS add an ad for themselves. How could it look like?

Description for visually impaired readers: white poster with #SoCS in bottom right corner and #JusJoJan badge in top left corner. Black writing in middle angular saying: Need a giggle? Need Inspiration? Need Information? Look no further: #JusJoJan & #SoCS gives you all!

I think I know now why I never made a career in the advertising business 😉

“A Sep” on #SoCS or am I a hypocrite?

When I first read Linda’s prompt I thought of a cep. For all those who don’t know: It’s a delicious mushroom which is called “Stone mushroom” in German. But then I followed the link in her prompt:

“Your prompt for #JusJoJan and Stream of Consciousness Saturday is: “sap/sep/sip/sop/sup.” Use one or all of these words or find a word that contains them, but most of all, have fun! Wondering what to do with “sep”? This is interesting: https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=SEP Enjoy!”

and realised that SEP is something that occupies me a lot lately. Ah, here we go. I didn’t want to write about it really… I wanted to write about “Sepp” which is a Bavarian abbreviation for “Josef” and there are lots of famous Sepps in the German-speaking area.

But that link mentioned “A Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy” and I just can’t resist that book. Nor that SEP. It worked so well in Douglas Adams universe. And many people think it works so well in this universe too.

But I suspect after the “Beast from the East” and the heatwave that followed in 2018 we can’t really think that climate is a SEP anymore, can we? At least young Greta seems to think so and it is she and her generation who will have to deal with all this rubbish that we leave them.

Video credit: Greta Thunberg via Democracy Now

No, I am not going to preach now. I think you are a grown-up and can decide for yourself what is your problem and what is not. And what sort of world you want to leave your children. See, I don’t have children. I have two nephews and two step-children. I am one of those women who are too “egotistic” and “self-absorbed” to give birth and care for a child. We are one of the reasons why this society is so horrible to those in need and the environment.

But I have to admit young Greta and young Maya have inspired me. They have encouraged me to check my SEP’s. See, when I was their age Germany’s Green Party had just made it into national politics. We could still believe there was time to change our behaviour. Germany had never really stopped to recycle glass bottles and started to recycle plastics too. I grew up with recycling. I grew up with not throwing plastic wrappers out of the window (would have been grounded for weeks if I had), saving water with not showering too often and saving energy with switching off the lights that are not needed. And not having the standby on.

But I got lazy when I came here. No, I still use as less plastic as I can and we re-use yoghurt pots many times and I usually bring my own bags when shopping. But I have to admit that I do not understand the British recycling system. I have moved approximately every two years since I’ve come here in 2007 and in every single place, the recycling system was different. I still don’t’ understand what you can recycle and what not. So I gave up.

I don’t clean out the plastics I put in the bin and put more in the normal bin than I should. And I moan continuously about other people who do not care about the environment and use tons of plastic. But then these two young women came along and I thought about a saying that was popular when I was their age:

“In every deliberation, we must consider the impact on the seventh generation…” which, of course, was brought down to us wrongly:

In fact, the original language is as follows: “The thickness of your skin shall be seven spans – which is to say that you shall be proof against anger, offensive actions and criticism. Your heart shall be filled with peace and good will and your mind filled with a yearning for the welfare of the people of the Confederacy. With endless patience you shall carry out your duty and your firmness shall be tempered with tenderness for your people. Neither anger nor fury shall find lodgement in your mind and all your words and actions shall be marked with calm deliberation, In all of your deliberations in the Confederate Council, in your efforts at law making, in all your official acts, self-interest shall be cast into oblivion. Cast not over your shoulder behind you the warnings of the nephews and nieces should they chide you for any error or wrong you may do, but return to the way of the Great Law which is just and right. Look and listen for the welfare of the whole people and have always in view not only the past and present but also the coming generations, even those whose faces are yet beneath the surface of the ground – the unborn of the future Nation.” as Wikipedia lets us know.

And I figured that’s the sort of person I want to be. I also figured I can’t wait until politicians or councillors bother to do something. Because I believe we are the power in everyone. We are the mainstream and when we change our behaviour the mainstream will too.

video source: 4Earth via YouTube

Well, not we. I do not want to preach anymore and I believe it is everybody’s right to decide how to behave and what world to leave behind. What I can change is my behaviour and that is what I aim for in 2019. Since Dec 31st I collect rubbish on my walk with the dog in the morning. We live close to the sea and it will eventually end up there and kill off birds and sea animals. Even if I collect it and get it into a landfill it might end up there. But I am going to plant an apple tree the day the world ends. Because that is another saying that was important to me when I was young. Of course, Luther didn’t really say it but hey, it works for me so who cares?

We are also considering to ditch the milk because of the climate-killing cow wind. Even though I am not sure that is a good decision because we had a look at recipes to make vegan cheese and most of the stuff needed comes from the other side of the world. So exchanging the good old cow for an aeroplane might not be the wisest decision. I have to research.

One great side effect of giving up my job is that I only use the car once a week now. That’s definitely a good one and I’ve given up my idea of becoming a travel blogger. Flying for fun (yes, I know dear travel bloggers, it is a lot of work you put into your posts but the people you write for would go for fun) doesn’t seem to go with my idea of stopping global warming. But then there is a dilemma: I love chocolate. I love tea. I enjoy an orange and sip (HA!!!!) a cup of coffee now and then. I love my spices. Where do all of those come from? Definitely not from the UK. Some may be from Europe. I can live with that. But again that pesky aeroplane that buggers up the ozone and climate for all the stuff that comes from further away.

Do I really want to make that much of a change? Uhm, no. Not really. So am I a bloody hypocrite (sorry for my language)? Is Greta right in saying that we adults don’t really want to change anything and apply SEP very very consistently? Well, I am going to work down my SEP’s one SEP at a time. I am a person who needs to do things one step at a time. I can’t do everything at once. Your SEP’s are your business, I won’t bother with them. But I can’t get rid of the feeling that it would be great if we’d let go of them together and started to really care!

video source: AsapSCIENCE via YouTube

I’ve run out of steam and Stream of Consciousness so please find suggestions on how to take part in SoCS and other curious SoCS posts here.

So long, and thank you for all the fish 😉

#SoCS is being mean (or maybe it means something…)

I need some Stream of Consciousness Saturday therapy my dear readers. So if you are here to have fun you better look for another #SoCS post. I don’t want to be mean but I need to figure out what Brexit really means.

Does my worrying about it get on your nerves? Well, sorry for that but for me Brexit means I am losing a lot of power over my life.

A friend of mine said to me:” Well you just have to sign a couple of forms and then its fine”. Uhm really? I also have to pay a couple of fees dear. And as far as I can see no one knows how our status will be until next March. In fact, if the news are to be believed it might take even a little longer. And what if there is no deal? Will I be an illegal immigrant? Will they chuck me out?

We can’t plan anything because we do not know what Brexit means besides Brexit of course. And the British expatriates in Europe have the same problem.

I have to admit I would not have come here if I’d known Britain would leave the EU. I was choosing between Switzerland and the UK and decided for the UK exactly because it was in the EU.

And I am rather astonished what the Brexiteers think why people come to their country.

No 1: the NHS

That was a reason for me NOT to come. NHS has and always had a rather bad reputation in Germany. Not sure how it is now but when I came here the German health system was expensive but ok. We quite often heard horror stories of people not getting the operation they needed or got operations they didn’t need. Of course, I can’t speak for immigrants from other European countries but for me, the NHS meant a reason NOT to come. I have to admit though I was pleasantly surprised about it when I was here.

No 2: Getting benefits for free

No offence dear Brexiteers but I left Germany precisely not having to go for benefits. First of all, you don’t get any when you just arrive in this country unless you are a refugee and those are usually not from Europe. Secondly, I wanted a job and not having to have three like I had to in Germany to make a living.

I have never received any benefits here and currently would only be able to get help for about 6 months due to my 11 years of working here. Definitely not worth to leave the country of my birth even though you can hardly get any benefits there anymore either.

No 3: Stealing jobs from the British

Yes, I came here for a job but guess what? Britain advertised in Germany for people to come over and work for them because Britain could not get the staff they needed. And no one wanted the job I did when I came here because cutting up fish is a smelly business.

And I would very much like to know where all those jobless Brexiteers were in summer when there were tons of jobs in the fields to harvest fruit and veg? Not so keen on working now, are you? I know this sounds mean but I am so angry about all those lies that have been told and still are told about immigrants. And then they moan they can’t get a job but when there are jobs they don’t take them. Never mind.

The most irritating thing I find in the whole situation is that most think I am British. I am married to a Brit so I automatically became British is their thinking. Well, that was the case before I came to the country. It was changed in 2007 or 2008.

And they also said: But you work and have a job you don’t have to worry! Not sure what that had to do with the price of bread because to have a job doesn’t make one British. Also, immigrants are despised because they have the jobs! So what? Shall we have a job or not?

All this makes me so angry. Can you understand that? Can you understand that the uncertainty of what my status and my life will be drives me crazy? It is a f…… big deal for me and my family. Because it means that my husband might have to choose between staying close to his children or staying with his wife if the worst comes to the worst. And please do not tell me it won’t happen. That’s what they said about Brexit and a president Trump too!!!!

I have a problem with the fact that people take serious decisions based on lies and on top do not once think about the fact that it is humans behind those decisions. That these decisions destroy lives….

This rage of mine pops up every now and then and it means I need to get it out of my system. So until March, I am going to write about it as often as I can and no matter what.

This and future Brexit rants are courtesy of Linda G. Hill, ruler of the Stream of Consciousness Saturday country of free speech and free thinkers. Thanks!

Find Linda’s prompt and many more brilliant #SoCS posts here.

Here are the rules:

1. Your post must be stream of consciousness writing, meaning no editing (typos can be fixed), and minimal planning on what you’re going to write.

2. Your post can be as long or as short as you want it to be. One sentence – one thousand words. Fact, fiction, poetry – it doesn’t matter. Just let the words carry you along until you’re ready to stop.

3. I will post the prompt here on my blog every Friday, along with a reminder for you to join in. The prompt will be one random thing, but it will not be a subject. For instance, I will not say “Write about dogs”; the prompt will be more like, “Make your first sentence a question,” “Begin with the word ‘The,’” or will simply be a single word to get you started.

4. Ping back! It’s important so that I and other people can come and read your post! For example, in your post, you can write “This post is part of SoCS:” and then copy and paste the URL found in your address bar at the top of this post into yours. Your link will show up in my comments for everyone to see. The most recent pingbacks will be found at the top. NOTE: Pingbacks only work from WordPress sites. If you’re self-hosted or are participating from another host, such as Blogger, please leave a link to your post in the comments below.

5. Read at least one other person’s blog who has linked back their post. Even better, read all of them! If you’re the first person to link back, you can check back later or go to the previous week by following my category, “Stream of Consciousness Saturday,” which you’ll find below the “Like” button on my post.

6. Copy and paste the rules (if you’d like to) in your post. The more people who join in, the more new bloggers you’ll meet and the bigger your community will get!

7. As a suggestion, tag your post “SoCS” and/or “#SoCS” for more exposure and more views.

8. Have fun!