SELF-Awareness Sunday ~ Express yourself

September 2019

I suspect I was a little crazy writing all these blogs and work… but now I am left with integrating tons of old posts :-). Feel free to take part even if it is an old prompt.

April 2015

That is one thing SELF-Awareness Sunday is about: Self-expression.

I express myself in my blogs and I have started a few as you can see in this post. For all those in a hurry :-). I have started several blogs and even if I only work on two now some are still in existence:

Phoenixrisesagain (bi-lingual German/English)
Phoenix’s Poems & Stories (English)
Phoenix’s Gedichte und Geschichten (German)
Morsmart at the end of the Galaxy (English)
My digital camera and me (English)
My lost souls (English)
Zara a writing story (English)
Something random now and then (German/English)
Please help Aurela (English/fundraising)
The Bee Writes (my main blog/English)

And of course, my poetry with my latest project called: A Prompt A Day For Bee

What about you? How do you express yourself?

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This post is part of my SELF-Awareness Sunday. Here you can find out how to take part:

SELF-Awareness Sunday rules/suggestions

  1. write a post about anything that makes you “YOU”: share experiences, show your art, enlighten us with your wisdom… you get the gist
  2. the exact topic is entirely up to you and the posts are strictly Stream of Consciousness as I believe this way of writing gives you great insights in who you are and what is hidden underneath the surface
  3. post it to your blog or as a comment on my SELF-Awareness Sunday post and tag it with “SELF-Awareness Sunday”
  4. If you wrote a post put a ping back link to my “SELF-Awareness Sunday” post so that others can visit yours
  5. Only post what you really want to share. There are things that come up which are not ready for the world yet. Please respect yourself in that point.
  6. If anything frightening comes up and you feel like you need help don’t hesitate to get it via your health professional, spiritual guide etc. You can find help-lines here
  7. Most of all enjoy the ride and trust the process! Your inner self and your gut will tell you exactly where you need to go 🙂
  8. Now my darlings: go, create and have lots of fun 🙂

SELF-Awareness Sunday ~ How dare I?

April 2019

Do some topics never change? Maybe I have several lessons still to learn… 😦

April 2015

A few weeks ago I started “SELF-Awareness Sunday” just to not do it for the next few Sunday’s. I seem to go through a profound change since I have hosted “Love Is In Da Blog“. Not sure why exactly that has kick-started a new cycle in healing but some things just do not need to be explained.

Now I seem to be back more and will keep this meme going because I think it is good to take a look at yourself every now and then. I realised I have not made clear rules/suggestions for taking part in SELF-Awareness Sunday. So I catch up with that now.

SELF-Awareness Sunday rules/suggestions

  1. write a post about anything that makes you “YOU”: share experiences, show your art, enlighten us with your wisdom… you get the gist
  2. the exact topic is entirely up to you and the posts are strictly Stream of Consciousness as I believe this way of writing gives you great insights in who you are and what is hidden underneath the surface
  3. post it to your blog or as a comment on my SELF-Awareness Sunday post and tag it with “SELF-Awareness Sunday”
  4. If you wrote a post put a ping back link to my “SELF-Awareness Sunday” post so that others can visit yours
  5. Only post what you really want to share. There are things that come up which are not ready for the world yet. Please respect yourself in that point.
  6. If anything frightening comes up and you feel like you need help don’t hesitate to get it via your health professional, spiritual guide etc. You can find help-lines here
  7. Most of all enjoy the ride and trust the process! Your inner self and your gut will tell you exactly where you need to go 🙂
  8. Now my darlings: go, create and have lots of fun 🙂

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Description for visually impaired readers: Sandstone Buddha sitting in between bushes and flower pots

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I have always been one to do thorough introspection. At times I felt like that is a fault as it can lead to worrying about everything and nothing especially when you suffer from depression. From a very young age on I wanted to become a better person though and that is still who I am.

While doing “Love Is In Da Blog” I realised that my writing seems to have this effect on others as well as many participants allowed themselves to go to places they have not been for a while and it seemed to have given them a healing push. While reading their posts I realised that that was something I would like to do too: To encourage and enable others to become more who they are and to allow themselves to let go of what is bothering them.

Ever since I left school I am wondering what I really want to do for a job and how I really want to earn my money. Working in a supermarket clearly wasn’t on the agenda but well: life makes funny turns :-).

Lately, though I wonder if there is no job description that fits what I have come here to do. Maybe I have to carve out my own path and maybe all I have been through in my life has given me the experience I need. Maybe it has trained me to do this with respect, responsibility and love so I can be a blessing.

Writing this I can’t let go of that “How dare you” – feeling. How dare I think I could help others to become who they are when I still don’t know who I am? When I still struggle with depression, PTSD, negative thinking patterns and self-love. How dare I?

But maybe I have to dare. Maybe “life” is all the training I need and maybe I just have to allow myself to think big. Good grief that is frightening…..

SELF-Awareness Sunday

April 2019

For now, I am just re-posting old prompts. Feel free to take part anyway. Will decide later in the year if I make a “thing” of it again.

March 2016

I admit I have not followed my own prompt from last week. There have been so many changes in my life lately and in my blogging that it will need a while until I get a proper routine. I promise though I try this week 🙂

What is SELF-Awareness Sunday?

Read the rules/suggestions at the bottom of this post which give you an idea of what we are doing. Then sit down and let your subconscious tell you something about you that you are happy to share with the world. It does not need to be a post in words. If you love painting, make it wordless and show us your creations. If you like singing, make a video and share your song with us. If you like writing. By all means, do it in words.

Anything goes that helps you on your journey of discovering yourself, but please respect yourself. There are things that are not ready to be shared yet. If you feel your creation needs some time in the closet than please leave it there. There will be a time when you are happy to share it. Also, if anything distressing comes up do not hesitate to find help with your health care provider, friends, family and spiritual guide. If you need help to find help here are some helplines: Bee’s Pinterest Board “If you are in distress don’t stay alone!

I invite you on a journey to yourself and am looking forward to share mine with you!

 

SELF-Awareness Sunday rules/suggestions

  1. write a post about anything that makes you “YOU”: share experiences, show your art, enlighten us with your wisdom… you get the gist
  2. the exact topic is entirely up to you and the posts are strictly Stream of Consciousness as I believe this way of writing gives you great insights into who you are and what is hidden underneath the surface
  3. post it to your blog or as a comment on my SELF-Awareness Sunday post and tag it with “SELF-Awareness Sunday”
  4. If you wrote a post, put a pingback link to my “SELF-Awareness Sunday” post or if those do not work leave it in the comments so that others can visit your post
  5. Only post what you really want to share. There are things that come up which are not ready for the world yet. Please respect yourself in that point!
  6. If anything frightening comes up and you feel like you need help don’t hesitate to get it via your health professional, spiritual guide, etc. You can find helplines here
  7. Most of all enjoy the ride and trust the process! Your inner self and your gut will tell you exactly where you need to go 🙂
  8. Now my darlings: go, create and discover yourself 🙂

Blast from the Past: SELF-Awareness Sunday No1: Monster

February 2019

Oops…

March 2015

There is a monster in me!

Yes, a real ugly monster. Some prefer to call it “your shadow self” but for me, it is a proper monster.

My boss and my co-workers made sure I had a real easy work day yesterday and all I could think was:”Oh, they just want to show me how slow and bad I work!” Good grief! How can I be so negative?

Well, of course I know I suffer from depression which colours everything negatively but I never realised how much it effects me. This negative thinking pattern becomes more and more clear to me and the more I try to change it the more it expresses itself and I express it out loud. What a moany old goat have I become?

I was and still am disgusted by myself. And guess what? The universe is always up to guide one along and it has a huge amount of humour. It send me this card this morning:

photo does not exist anymore sorry…

And a friend had send me this video a few days earlier.

Looks like I have my tasks cut out for the next few weeks 🙂 !

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This post is part of “SELF-Awareness Sunday” where you can share anything that makes you “YOU” in the way you feel it is worth sharing!

SELF-Awareness Sunday

February 2019

I might start this again. Anyone interested?

September 2014

For a while, I will fill this lovely blog of mine with some great meme’s. I love Colleen’s “Mindful Monday” and “Writer’s Quote Wednesday” which I usually do on another day as I do love “Wordless Wednesday” and I prefer doing that on the day.”Teaser Tuesday” I have just discovered and I love it and of course, you know Linda’s “Stream of Consciousness Saturday“. Not sure yet what to do for Fridays. Couldn’t find one I really liked. Do you have any ideas?

So I decided Sunday would be a good day to do a meme of my own. It’s all Linda’s “fault” (sorry Linda 🙂 ) who inspired “Love Is In Da Blog” in February and I have to admit I miss it. Looks like I am a little in a midlife crisis. Well, not really a crisis but I ponder whom I have become since finishing therapy last year.

Which gave me the idea to start “Self-Awareness Sunday” a Stream of Consciousness prompt if you want to but that is totally up to you.

What is it about?

Self-Awareness of course 🙂 but you do not need to write an essay or a psychological dissertation. Share with us what makes you “YOU”. Which experiences have been important in your life? Which songs do you love and believe they are part of who you are. Is crafting a part of your life? Show us your creations. Books that have made an impact in your life? Yay anytime :-). Places that are important to you …. you get the gist.

Allow yourself to ponder the “YOU” you are aware of. Allow yourself to wander the paths of the past and the dreams of the future. Allow yourself to discover yourself creatively. Try out new things or just follow the usual path. It’s entirely up to you and I am looking forward to see a glimpse of you :-).

Feel free to share your link here for others to find it and also feel free to visit at least one other post. Use this picture as a logo or create your own. This prompt is all about you 🙂 so please go crazy 🙂 !

Description for visually impaired readers: Illustration of three trees on the left with differently coloured canopies. In middle black writing saying: SELF Awareness Sunday

Oh, and please tag it with “SELF-Awareness Sunday” for us to find it easier 🙂

SELF-Awareness Sunday ~ Mental Health

December 2018

This is a post that I published first in April 2015. This project doesn’t run officially anymore but if you like it, I am going to re-instate it… 🙂

April 2015

One topic that is on top of my list is mental health.

Dealing with depression since being a teenager and now knowing that I suffer from PTSD due to abuse in my childhood makes me aware of how much harder I have it sometimes to achieve certain things.

Please don’t get me wrong: This is not a “Oh, how poor am I” post. But the truth is to see things in a positive way and to go on a new adventure with self-confidence is not anything I can just do. It’s not a question of “cheering up” or “not taking things so seriously”. It’s some chemicals gone wrong in my brain and experiences that taught my brain that danger is everywhere even when it’s not really there. Imagine being on high alert all the time because your brain expects an attack from somewhere. Can you imagine how tiring that is?

I have not really taken for serious that I suffer from depression up until 2013 when my grandmother passed away and 6 months later I had a nervous breakdown. I can be cheerful and do most things I want to do but it so often needs a great effort of mine to just be there. To question my own thinking patterns to not fall prey to the darkness. To just get up in the morning and do whatever I want and need to do.

Not sure it is possible to explain this to someone who never have suffered from depression and does not know how much everything is shaded in darkness without our fault. Believe me, no one who suffers from depression wants to be like that. I think everyone of us would rather get up in the morning and get on with it without having to take tablets and do whatever tools you have learned in therapy to get through the day. No one wants to fight against their own negativity on a constant basis.

Mine is pretty much under control. I can work normally again and am able to achieve so much more than I used to. But every so often I get a reminder that I have that dark companion at my side who reminds me that there was Sh… in my life and I survived it. Who reminds me that no matter how others perceive me I am a strong woman who is still there without a drug problem or whatever else I could have fallen prey to.

I survived but sometimes I wish I hadn’t and it was all over. No fighting unseen dangers or just struggling to get up. But who I am is to not give in to that. Even though there have been times I considered ending the whole thing it was never a real option. That would mean that those who wronged me have won and I will not let them. My victory will be that at the end of my days I can say I have had a good life and now it’s time to go. Not a minute too early. Not a minute too late!

And no matter what my moods try to tell me right now: I have already achieved this victory because I have a good life. I have a wonderful husband, family and friends and I can do what I love!

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This post is part of my SELF-Awareness Sunday. Here you can find out how to take part:

SELF-Awareness Sunday rules/suggestions

  1. write a post about anything that makes you “YOU”: share experiences, show your art, enlighten us with your wisdom… you get the gist
  2. the exact topic is entirely up to you and the posts are strictly Stream of Consciousness as I believe this way of writing gives you great insights in who you are and what is hidden underneath the surface
  3. post it to your blog or as a comment on my SELF-Awareness Sunday post and tag it with “SELF-Awareness Sunday”
  4. If you wrote a post put a ping back link to my “SELF-Awareness Sunday” post so that others can visit yours
  5. Only post what you really want to share. There are things that come up which are not ready for the world yet. Please respect yourself in that point.
  6. If anything frightening comes up and you feel like you need help don’t hesitate to get it via your health professional, spiritual guide etc. You can find help-lines here
  7. Most of all enjoy the ride and trust the process! Your inner self and your gut will tell you exactly where you need to go 🙂
  8. Now my darlings: go, create and have lots of fun 🙂