My first blog was with Blogger. I started in 2009 and I can’t even remember how it was called. I am sure though it was about my writing and life in general. Since then I had a second, third, fourth, fifth, sixth, seventh, eighth, ninth, tenth, eleventh, twelfth, thirteenth and fourteenth blog (you are reading it right now :-))
No doubt, I am addicted 🙂 to blogging but somehow lack the stamina to stay with one. I probably get bored and then start doing something else. Not only though. I left a few behind because I had an ex-partner who was addicted to me as much as I am addicted to blogging. So I had to hide my tracks a little. I went underground with my social network and blogging activities. Thankfully a little caution by the police helped and I could come out again.I also did some blogging under pseudonym concerning healing from abuse and mental health issues which had to do with the fact that there is a limitation period on abuse cases in Germany and mines run out. If I am too open I get into trouble.
Why am I telling you this?
Because I am taking stock. Some might call it mid-life crises but I do not experience it as a crisis (or at least not anymore). I have come far from the little scared girl I have been in Germany some 40 years ago to move to my dream country, finding my dream man and family and fulfilling what I love to do: Writing and sharing knowledge. I was occupied with plain surviving for most of my life, but this is behind me now: I am more healed, more whole and at last can have a look what I really want and not what is safe for me to do.
This is a great time. I can discover a lot, try out a lot and celebrate what I have achieved so far. I am a little like “Aschenputtel/Cinderella” and putting my bad lentils into one pot and the good ones into another. And I will keep the good ones :-). But that is a process. It does not work from one day to another and no matter how keen I am to see where life will need me I have to be gentle with myself and allow myself that time to sit and ponder life and not being occupied with lots of things.
In this process, I am looking back to my different blogs and have a look at the different stories I have started but never finished. Sometimes you have to go back to get ahead and I try to figure out what I want to go ahead with and with what I do not want to go ahead with. I’m in the middle of it and am looking forward to finding out where it leads me…
This post is part of Linda G Hill’s Stream of Consciousness Saturday. Please head over to her brilliant blog and find more exciting Stream of Consciousness posts: