Am pretty uninspired today.
Last weeks prompt just made me ask what a “preposition” is and when I looked it up it was clear what to write.
This week’s feels more serious though. Or more philosophical. It doesn’t seem to be right to write something funny. Maybe I am not really up for it because I had a hard shift yesterday and got up really early in the last few days. I am not the youngest anymore after all.
Well, nearly 44 isn’t really old, I admit that. But it seems to be a time of change. My body does not do everything as easily anymore. I have to take a lot more care about myself than I used to, to feel healthy and ready to go about my day. I know menopause does not start before about 50 but I feel like my body already prepares itself for that great change. Not that I mind that. I always felt that I am a rather old soul who will come into her own when she is older.
I do not long for my childhood or teenager time. I am more than glad to be over that. Having lost my mum at the age of 12, being at the mercy of a very troubled father and being bullied at school didn’t make that area of my life an especially cheerful or happy one. That’s the past, though. I am through it and it made me who I am and I feel that I can reap the fruits of what I have learned now that I am older.
My life has worked out well after all. I can publish and write what I always wanted to do, I have a wonderful husband and step-children, a job and am reasonably healthy. I have wonderful friends all over the world, a roof over my head and live in my dream country.I feel like I have achieved a lot in my life. Not what one might expect like a brilliant career, but I have found healing for my early broken soul and have realised a dream of mine. Living in this great country.
I think mid-forties is a great time for a woman. You have established some things in your life, don’t need to worry so much anymore about what people think and can plan the second half of your life. That is what I have been doing for a few weeks. Establishing what I have achieved so far and where I want to go. It is exciting. When I was younger, I never believed I could go that far and be that happy. And I am very grateful for that.